The Time We Have

This morning I find myself idly pondering once again just how I got where I am and where I might be going from here - and realizing that I'm forgetting once again all about the present moment itself. Via The Anchoress and Deacon Greg, this video sums up nicely, with not a word spoken, exactly what we always need to remember about life and death:

One year in 120 seconds from Eirik Solheim on Vimeo.

Life is a progression, we do need to act within our daily circumstances and plan for the future. But life is also a cycle, death is part of that cycle but it is not the end of it. We step into life and "the road goes ever on and on" until, like Frodo and Bilbo we find ourselves surprised at our own front door, where we started from. And at our death we will recognize that door and be glad, and behind us others will still be walking and behind them others will be starting out anew.

My dear Mom (who passed away suddenly this past December 2nd, 2009) said a lot of wise things to me, but one of the last conversations we were blessed to have I remember as clearly as a bell... I was all upset for one reason or another and she just kept telling me, "let GO honey, and let God!" It was always her favorite idea to use, I'd heard it before, and she was nothing if not consistent in this regard - she herself always had that underlying current of strength, of trust and faith that in the end all things would be well in God. She practiced what she preached. Yet always before, and even in that conversation, I didn't really let up and let go. I had a mindset of "fine, but I still need to do SOMETHING right?" and continued to distract myself out of a desire to be in control of something in my life. I see now that my faith was, and still is, weaker than hers and this is partly (or entirely?) the reason why I struggle so much when I do not have to. But she just kept repeating it in that gentle persistent way. Even now I know she is still repeating it and will repeat it to me all my life. And you know what? She's right.

As the years go by for me now, and for my Dad who is ahead of me on the road, I must remember that there are seasons in life that are NOT things I can control, and that just as the seasons go along without me, I must let go of my life and let God lead me.

Verse to meditate on today:
"For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it." (Luke 9:24)

~